So I'm not much of a blogger, well what am I saying?, I've never blogged before. But I feel it might be a nice anonymous medium for me to express myself, what ever that means, and if some one takes some joy or some what ever in reading it then here it is on the public arena.

Right now, I feel a bitter resentment, aching longing, and a sweet contenment. I'm not trying to be poetic, okay, maybe I am... But what I really want is fulfillment and a sense of acheivement and success. And now I feel like a douche bag. Perhaps this gets easier and not so awkward. Perhaps not. We'll see.

That sort of is 'it' for now. I know, nothing exciting, but somethings never really are. And others are take your breath away, my heart is jumping out of my throat, I could squeeze something exciting. But for now, that's it.

I feel disgusting.